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Re: staking rules
by Chronius | Today at 08:11:50 PM
Omg k0ed Flaming
by Jokepuree | Today at 08:09:22 PM
Re: Xp is real [James check here or kode] LMFA0
by Charr | Today at 07:14:32 PM
Re: Itsemotional scammed brap + pls . : ]. [R1P]
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Re: (No Subject)
by Charr | Today at 04:54:20 PM
Re: ::redeem not giving me anything
by James | Today at 11:59:16 AM
stream is out
by Robbiemorr | September 27, 2016, 06:34:08 PM
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Today at 12:00:22 PM by James
Views: 24 | Comments: 3

I. What is this?
II. Defining 'Noob'

I. Noobish
II. Where to find noobs
III. Behavior of noobs
IV. Noob religion
V. More about noob habitats

I. Make sure you aren't one
II. Major noob avoiding strategies



I. What is this?
This guide is designed to give you a better understanding of what a noob is, how to recognize them, some details about them, and how to avoid or get rid of them. It mostly applies to online forums, which are the main targets of migrating noobs.

II. Defining 'Noob'
Contrary to the belief of many, a noob/n00b and a newbie/newb are not the same thing. Newbs are those who are new to some task* and are very beginner at it, possibly a little overconfident about it, but they are willing to learn and fix their errors to move out of that stage. n00bs, on the other hand, know little and have no will to learn any more. They expect people to do the work for them and then expect to get praised about it, and make up a unique species of their own. It is the latter we will study in this guide so that the reader is prepared to encounter them in the wild if needed.

Noobs are often referred to as n00bs as a sign of disrespect toward them, and it's often hella funny, but I will refer to them as noobs during this reading.

* Usually the topic at hand on an internet forum.


I. Noobish
Often, but not always, noobs will attempt to communicate in their own primitive language, known as "n00bish." It is a variant of the hacker language that exposes them as having little intelligence or will to learn. Here is an example of some noobish. Do not attempt to comprehend it: it cannot be discerned without professionals at hand.

stFU /../, i r teh r0xx0rz liek emin3m, u cna go tO EHLL OR ATLE4St help m3 wit hthIS!!111!!!!!!!1~~1!!``!! LOLLOLOLLOLOLlOoLLOlollLLl u n00b

Although you may find this unbelievably funny and/or annoying, it is best to restrain yourself and keep from talking back to them, as they are very territorial and easily angered. This will result in their attempted verbal abuse of you, possibly backed up by other noobs, because they work in packs when doing offensive tasks. It is not an easy task to learn this language because our intelligent accent will keep it from sounding quite right when spoken. You can write some simple noobish of your own, however, by slamming your face into your keyboard repeatedly.

II. Where to find n00bs
On the internet, n00bs make their colonies on forums. They migrate in waves, usually on weekends, and proceed to clog up bandwidth with stupid questions and sometimes even stupid answers. If you happen to be unfortunate enough to be on a board large enough to attract migrating noobs, there will hopefully be authority in charge who is smart enough to take extermination measures before they can make nests and larger colonies. THE BANNER HAMMER is one form of authority.

Larger colonies can result in the mutation of some into spammers. Not commercial spammers, but pointless spammers. A noob can become one of these at any point, but the larger the amount of noobs, the more chance pointless spammers will appear.

Off the internet, noobs appear anywhere the focus is on learning or discussing something specific.

III. Behavior of noobs
Since noobs are basically ignorant bastards, they have a lot in common. The most often seen characteristic is their fluency in noobish, which is why it got its own section. They will also be very self confident as if they were the absolute best at what they are in fact the worst at. Also, they are quite agressive and self-centered, and tend to laugh a lot using many L's and O's in rapid sucession (the noobish word for laughing like an ultimate retard).

It is their instinct to assemble in packs for defense, and they often attempt to organize packs that they call teams. Unfortunately for them, teams usually result in a total loss of communication and they can often begin to fight amongst each other. These teams are quite unlike those formed by non-noobs.

Noobs have difficulty reading English and cannot comprehend the idea of authority.

Therefore, they have an all-out disregard for rules, basic or not. A good way to identify a noob (bad) vs. a newb (good) is to tell them (or have an authority tell them) which rule they are unknowingly breaking. If they respond with an apology and fix it, they are probably not a noob. If they react by insulting everything around them in rapid noobish and causing general mayhem, it is because they are a noob and have had a small seizure due to their inability to understand what is happening.

IV. Noob Religion
Noobs follow a variation of the 1337 (sometimes 7331) religion, in which they worship the number in odd rituals and put altars in their forum avatars and signatures. They often call themselves 1337, which experts say is somewhat like calling themselves godly in a human language. It's best to not interfere with their religious fantasies and practices because that can lead to a noob uprising, which can turn a forum to mush in less than a week.

V. More about noob habitats
Noobs often attempt to maintain their own web pages. Some common features of these lairs are a terrible lack of content, background music, lots of pointless animated gifs, and pages that say some variation of 'tHEir isnothinG H34r yEtt LOLLOLOL!111!1!!~~~!!`! 13371337', which means 'Nothing here yet' in noobish.

They will also have large, seemingly infinite marquees of 88X31 affiliate buttons replaced with red X's scattered here and there, and possibly a hit counter showing a number less than 100. These habitats are numerous but fairly easy to avoid because only noobs link to them. So if you can identify a noob, don't go to its homepage. Simple as that.


I. Make sure you aren't one
Note: This section is bilingual so even noobs can make the discovery if they haven't already.

English (T4lk)-

Read the above parts of this guide carefully. If you find yourself unable to comprehend any of it but are instead beginning to think about how great you are and how awesome 'teh 1337' is, you might want to take one of the many available online quizzes to check your noobancy.

Noobish (133713371337)- Liek, u gott4 re3D teh gudieCAREFUl1y and tehn OMG LIEK I AM R0XX0RZ ya anD ify 0u turn into teh reTARDED u gota go 2 MY WEBP4GE LOLLOLOL!!111~11 ad check 4 warez n stfuu. if u r a n00b go2HELL LOLLOLOlROFLMFAO11!!!11!!!! a/s/l pos gtg n00b suxx0rz ur b0xx0rz OLOOOLOLLLL HELP HELP HELP 1337133713371337

II. Major noob avoiding strategies
The main factor in attracting migrating herds of noobs is a large, active forum. If you find one of these, look to see if it has the management to avoid noob infestation. If not, look for a small or mid-sized forum that covers the same topic so you can enjoy your time there before the noobs find it.

Another way to keep noobs from interfering with your life is to become part of the authority on one of these forums. But that's often hard to do so you'll probably be better off avoiding larger forums first off. If you do manage to become part of the authority, however, take full advantage of it and establish extermination policies so that normal people can have a nice time without noob infestations.
Noob Talk: LAlWAlwalwalWAWLAWLAWA!~!~!~!!!11!!! 1M NOtttt N0000BZ

Updates soon been tied up.
July 21, 2016, 07:50:14 PM by Kode | Views: 12736 | Comments: 12

Sorry for the downtime. A security update messed them up pretty good and I ran into some mystery errors trying to recover them. If you find any bugs or a missing functionalities be sure to report them. Hope you all like the new (unfinished) look too. :)
July 12, 2016, 08:54:24 PM by James
Views: 507 | Comments: 10

Hello everyone!

The client has been updated! To login, you must download one of the new clients from here.

I have a somewhat surprise update for you today, at least many may not have known about it. I apologize for the delay, but like I have said in the previous updates I have had a lot going on.

  • The Abyssal dagger and Abyssal bludgeon are now available! These items are dropped rarely by the Zombie champion, and the Abyssal dagger is dropped by Abyssal demons within the wilderness. Abyssal demons in the Slayer tower will not drop the Abyssal dagger. The drop rate from Abyssal demons is extremely rare! They may also be obtained from the Event Point shop, or Donator Presents in the 20% bracket (uncommon). Their stats and special attacks mimic those of the real game, if you do not know what they do please check the OldSchool RuneScape Wiki

  • Primordial, Pegasian, and Eternal boots are now dropped by the Dagannoth kings and Dagannoth mother! They are also now available in the 25% chance (common) bracket of the Donator Presents. Because we have Heroic boots, which are extremely strong, the new boots have been adjusted to be slightly better versions of the Heroic boots. I do have plans for fixing this in the future, but they will remain like this for now!
  • It is no longer possible to teleport out of the Dagannoth kings cave in the wilderness by walking onto a certain tile
  • The bank at the Karambwan fishing area is now accessible
  • -Zombie champion has been properly renamed from "Zombies champion" (previous name) and has been adjusted from level 87 to level 255
  • More items to come soon, this update took a while to prepare, so unfortunately I am not able to release more items at this time. However, within the next few weeks you can definitely prepare to see new items like the Toxic blowpipe, Serpentine helm, and more!

To give you an idea of what the Donator Present rewards look like now, here is an example of 12 boxes opened.

I hope you all enjoy the new content! It took a while to complete, so I can guarantee there will be many more changes in the following updates, I already have plenty of ideas. If you have anything to suggest, be sure to post below or in the suggestions section! Credits to Charr for providing the new items for the update.
Pages: [1] 2

* Newest Topics

staking rules by Chronius
[Today at 08:11:50 PM]

Omg k0ed Flaming by Jokepuree
[Today at 08:09:22 PM]

Xp is real [James check here or kode] LMFA0 by Charr
[Today at 07:14:32 PM]

Itsemotional scammed brap + pls . : ]. [R1P] by Charr
[Today at 05:06:09 PM]

(No Subject) by Charr
[Today at 04:54:20 PM]

::redeem not giving me anything by James
[Today at 11:59:16 AM]

stream is out by Robbiemorr
[September 27, 2016, 06:34:08 PM]

Pussymagnet / 0G princ3ss scouting by maxthecat6
[September 27, 2016, 05:49:53 PM]

DiamondJr scamm by diamondsword
[September 27, 2016, 02:17:05 PM]

Best Price Comparison Site by Patrickpl
[September 26, 2016, 04:16:41 PM]

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